Hopeless (second draft)

I wrote this 6 months before I started dating Kate. The relationship lasted two years, so it wasn't a entirely a waste. Yeah, I am a loser that I didn't have the balls to ask her out 6 months after this.

'Hopeless'
by
Quincy Jackson
To my past, my mistakes and to what Will refers to as 'my pulsating star.'

INT.- COFFEE SHOP-ISH PLACE- Evening

Acoustic mandolin music enraptures the room as JACK sits on a sofa. In this room they are three guys sitting at a table playing Monopoly and another person is sitting in isolation ready, you can't really make out who this person is, this person is out of focus. JACK sits back and begins his monologue.

JACK
I'm sitting, I being Jack, and Jack is sitting here for some unknown reason. The music is shit and the beer sucks, for some strange reason (looking at a bottle of Budweiser) I just can not grow a taste for American Beer. I honestly believe American Beer is for those that can't afford anything else and is so deep into their addiction.
(Pauses)
To be honest, I am sitting here thinking of her. Every time I get my mind off of her there is always something that puts my mind right back on the subject of this girl that has stolen the object of my affection. I should be with her. I have been away from her so long that my friends over there playing some sort of board game thinks I am a moody dick.

Cuts to the Table

RALPH
(who is sitting in the middle)
Yeah he is a dick.

DAVE
(Who is sitting to the left)
A true dick.

GUY TO THE RIGHT
(British Accent)
Umm.. I don't really know him, I am just playing the game.

Cuts back to JACK

JACK
I would give you examples to throw on for evidence but that wouldn't be telling the story at hand, in all actuality I would be telling there story, the story of two losers, but no I'll pass on that notion. This is my story, about some random guy, and as most random guys do will go to great extend to impress a girl. And the sad thing is that we aren't a really good match. I could give you the top five reason we don't belong together. And here they are from least important to most important, you know, try to form some sort of drama from nothing.
1.The least important but well it bears something Her mother probably wouldn't approve
2.My friends other then Ralph disapproves of her, in fact some of them flat out loathe the girl. The same goes for one or two of her college friends.

Cuts to a diner.

JEAN
How do you tolerate the girl?

JACK
(shrugs)
I don't know, all I know is I like her. If I could explain the reason why I like this girl then I would as well know the secrets of the universe.

JEAN
Whatever.

Cuts to COFFEE SHOP

JACK
(resuming conversation with camera.)
But Ralph can only take her in small doses.

Cut to EXT.- SIDEWALK- Daytime
Jack and Ralph are walking along the path of the sidewalk.

RALPH
Yeah I'll never take her with us to movies again, especially whenever we are in big groups.

INT.-CINEMA
Chris, Jack, Virginia, Dave and several other people are sitting together in the cinema. Dramatic music is playing and it is assumed that something very important to the flick is going down. Everyone has an annoyed look on there face except Jack who has both feet propped on the back of the seat in front of him and Virginia is giggling as loud as she can.

INT.- COFFEE SHOPISH PLACE

JACK
3.Not important either but she hates my favorite color. She is always talking about the evils of pink but that is ok. I really don't have a problem with it.

INT.- COLLEGE CAFETERIA
A bunch of the 'goth' kiddies are sitting at a table, and JACK is sitting there for some strange reason.

VIRGINIA
(looking as though she is looking for approval)
I hate pink.

People glance at her as though they really don't care.

INT.- COFFEE SHOPISH PLACE

JACK
4.I don't think I am what she is looking for. The kind of guy she is usually is after is those that have I.Q.s smaller then my penis. Like there was this one time I drove her ex boy friend to the bus station to help him runaway to see this chick that he had met on the Internet. Ummm.. Yeah and then I had a conversation on the way of the samurai, yeah like that guy has any idea about the samurai. Fuckers like that should be kicked in the balls, odd side note, he liked it whenever Virginia kicked him in the balls, that would get him off. And he is very odd looking but I can't really say anything about that.

5. And this is the kicker, clincher, whatever you want to call it, I don't think she is what I am looking for in a girl. Kinda bad to say about the girl in which you have been dreaming about the last few days. I really don't understand my obsession with this girl, which then yet again, do I even know what I want.
(Pauses)
Yes I want her. I can give you my top five reasons why I am crazy about this girl, but first a brief history.

INT.-School Bus- Early morning- Quite a few years earlier
JACK is a little younger and is sitting in a seat across from a red headed kid.

JACK
(present Jack V.O. Talking about the past)
Well wasn't I such a douche. Yeah I first met Virginia whenever I was a Senior in high school all them many years ago. Though I usually drove to school, sometimes I would ride the bus just to see her. I don't know why, at that time I was fixated on someone else, but if there was one person that could have shaken it. It would have been her.

The bus comes to a stop

FLOYD
(the red headed kid across the aisle)
Oh my god, it is Virginia. That girl would used to jump on me and kiss me, really freaked me out.

JACK
No person is that freaky, especially to freak out the great Floyd

FLOYD
Well she is.

Enters VIRGINIA on to the bus. She is carrying a shoulder bag, like the giant pocket books used as backpacks, various art books, and sketch books.

JACK
(VO)
Now I can't really remember what got us talking, and to tell you the truth I don't even remember that I talked to her at all that first day I met her. Probably, but then I don't remember my first words to her, more then likely it was hello, but that doesn't really matter. I don't think it matters, I mean that is trivial, and I have smoke and dealt in marijuana since then so I really can't remember a whole lot.

INT.-COFFEE SHOPISH PLACE

JACK
Now High School was cool, especially with Virginia there. It was as though I had my 'double' there in so many words, and I loved every minute of it.

RALPH
Yeah but he had three other girls he was crazy about.

JACK
Shut up Ralph, that is another story, though she was the fourth, I loved every minute of it.

INT.- High School cafeteria- morning
A bunch of guys and Virginia with Jack and Floyd sitting around a table in the corner of the lunchroom, like a band of outcasts, man the fun.

JACK
(VO)
Well the bizarre thing about the cafeteria, I was usually the craziest son of a bitch in whole entire world, thus my Polko rep as Crazy Jack.

Jack takes a can and shakes it while sitting at the table.

Fenwick #1
(eating a sausage biscuit)
Oh god Jack, not me, please don't let spray on me.

JACK
Today I think I am going to spray the prep table.

FLOYD
Go for it man.

Virginia watches as she draws something silently, one of the few times she is actually devoted to something.

JACK opens the can on the Preps, JACK comes running back to his table.

The entire cafeteria erupts into a roar of laughter, no more chatter just laughter.

The Alpha male of the Football squad comes walking over to the quite corner of Jack and Jack's friends.

ALPHA MALE
(Appearing to be tough)
What da fuck do you think you are doing?

JACK
(Picking up a chair and holding it over his head as though the legs are horns on his head)
Back you, you primate, Back.

ALPHA MALE
I ought ta punch the lights out you.

JACK
I said back you beast.

ALPHA MALE
Haha, you beast, who the hell do you think you are?

JACK
So are you going to stop with the empty threats and go away, or what.

ALPHA MALE
What does the little freak thinks he's going to do with that chair?

JACK
This!

JACK charges into the ALPHA MALE with the chair knocking him back.

ALPHA MALE
Now you've done it, you freak.
(ALPHA MALE stands up and brushes off)

All the guys at the table stand up.

FLOYD
Buddy, if you continue to miss with him you'll have to go through us.

ALPHA MALE
(Looking at JACK who is gloating)
Hey you, insane fuck, I'll get you later.

ALPHA MALE walks away, defeated.

JACK
Jerk.

Cut to: INT.- Coffee shopish place- evening

JACK
But this sub-story doesn't end there because they're a minor Virginia story tie in whenever that whatchamacallit returned and the sad thing was it was lunch time.

Cut to: INT.- High school cafeteria- noon
The cafeteria is fill with hungry high school students and teachers alike. Virginia and Fenwick #2 are playing some sort of card game. Jack is just witnessing the events of this fantasy based card game and daydreaming how cool it would be if a barbarian with a battle ax would actually chop the table in half. But the next best thing happens, ALPHA MALE walks up to the table coming behind Virginia. ALPHA MALE is sipping on a cup of tea.

ALPHA MALE
(looking devious)
So what is this Pokemon or something?

FENWICK #2
Yeah something, can you just leave us alone.

ALPHA MALE
(glaring at JACK and then to Virginia)
I was just wondering.

ALPHA MALE purposely drops the cup of tea on Virginia's cards. Virginia looks pist off, FENWICK #2 was just going to say something.

ALPHA MALE
Oops, sorry.

VIRGINIA
Hey fuck you.

ALPHA MALE exits.

JACK
(taking a paper towel and dabs at the cards, hoping they won't ruin)
Sorry Virginia, an asshole is an asshole, and that is an asshole.

FENWICK #2
You shouldn't have splashed that guy with Yoohoo.

JACK
I'll get him back.

JACK reaches in his backpack

FENWICK #2
Oh god Jack, what the hell are you going to do?

JACK
(Sits back up with a pair of siscors in hand)
Nothing, it'll be about ten minutes before I can do anything.

FENWICK #2
Just don't start a war with the preps.

VIRGINA
War! Blood! YAY!

FENWICK #2
Yeah whatever Virginia

JACK
I'll be back later.

JACK takes a seat on the other side of the lunchroom and watches ALPHA MALE's table for that window of time he left the table. ALPHA MALE gets up and walks towards the bathroom, then JACK goes and sits in his place.

JACK
So what's up guys?

PREP GUY
Ummm... Jack, Chris was sitting there.

JACK
I don't think he'll mind

PREP GUY
Ok, whatever man

JACK
Do you guys want to see something funny.

PREP GIRL
What would that be?

JACK
(playing with scissors)
Well, how about a little fuzz in your friend's tea?

PREP GUY
What are you talking about?

JACK
Just watch you dumb ass and then you might just understand.

JACK cuts a few hairs from his pubic area. JACK then sprinkles the pubic hair into ALPHA MALE's tea cup.

PREP GUY
Oh god this is going to be funny.

PREP GIRL
Here he comes.

JACK goes back to the empty table.

ALPHA MALE takes a seat at the table with his 'friends'.

ALPHA MALE has a few laughs with his mates before he bottoms up the tea cup. Once he does drink all of the tea his friends die laughing. Everyone of them were laughing and one explained what just happened. ALPHA MALE stands up, throwing the chair behind him and walks towards JACK.

ALPHA MALE
So what is your fucking problem?

JACK
I have no problem

ALPHA MALE
Why did you have to put fucking pubes in my tea?

JACK
Why did you have to spill tea on my friend's cards?

ALPHA MALE
You know what, you aren't funny.

JACK
And you know what, I really don't give a rat's ass

ALPHA MALE starts to punch JACK, but the Principal walks up and catches ALPHA MALE's punch.

Cut to: INT.- COFFEE SHOPISH PLACE

JACK
Yeah I don't know the meaning behind that story, but I thought it was funny. Maybe it would have something to do with the fact I will do anything for Virginia.

Cuts to RALPH who is still playing Monopoly.

RALPH
Are you ever going to shut up over there?

JACK
No

RALPH
Really who the fuck are you talking to?

JACK
Ummm... all of these people who also don't really care about Virginia either.

RALPH
How many times do I have to tell you she's seeing someone.

JACK
I don't really care.

RALPH
Ok.

DAVE
Don't fuel his fire Ralph.

RALPH
Alright continue with your f-ing story.

JACK
(To Ralph) Yeah thats right, play your Monopoly. (Into Camera) Where was I. Oh yeah, the top five reasons why I would be great with Virginia. Yeah now the shit gets deep.
5.I love the way she goes off and talks about fictional storys as if they are real, because they are real to here. I don't know how many hours of Lestat speeches I had to sit through but I honestly love every minute of it.
4.Not many people can tolerate it, but I love her laugh. Not the one she puts as a front, but her true laugh. I seen it very few times.
3.I love seeing her insecurities, I know this must sound bizarre but I love the brief moments in which she puts up this front that she doesn't really care and she might not but she is just insecure about being dominated, like she dislikes the fact that she is a chick. It is honestly one of the cutest things I have ever seen. The perfect example of this is when she thought it wise to drink a half a bottle of rum.

EXT.- Behind a Brick Building in Landrum- midday to early evening

JACK is half way hold Virginia's hair as VIRGINIA is holding the rest back as she is puking. After VIRGINIA finishes puking she drops to the ground.

JACK
(taking an shirt and wiping VIRGINIA's mouth)
I am so sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen.

VIRGINIA
(Looking straight up into the sky, tears are flowing out of both eyes)
Its so beautiful.

JACK
What is so beautiful?

VIRGINIA
Look up.

JACK
(looking up into the sky)
Oh yes it is.

Silence falls between the two as they both look at the sky.

VIRGINIA (breaking the silence)
That color of blue is absolutely pure and beautiful. That color can not be copied, though people try to paint it everyday, it isn't as beautiful as the one above us. The sky is mine, it belongs to only me.

INT.- COFFEE SHOPISH PLACE

JACK
2.I love how utterly oblivious she is. She probably doesn't even know I have a crush on her and that in itself is hilarious to me, especially whenever it is obvious to everyone else.

EXT.- High school Football stadium- night

It is the homecoming game and it is filled with new and old students. JACK and FLOYD are here by shear chance, because it has been a couple of years since either one of them had been there, so we get a bunch of hey guys, how have you been? From random people.

VIRGINIA
(comes running up screaming)
JACK... FLOYD

JACK
Oh god hide me.

FLOYD
Hi Ginny

VIRGINIA
My name is Virginia.

FLOYD
Oh I am so sorry

JACK
(slapping FLOYD on the shoulder)
You have to excuse my friend, he just hates reunions.

FLOYD
Yeah I am going to go over there.

JACK
I'll see ya later then, I am going to hang out here.

FLOYD
I'll be back later.

FLOYD exits.

JACK
So what are you doing, how's the Pooka Chan?

VIRGINIA
Pooka's great, and I am just sitting drawing and hanging out with Tyler's sister.

JACK
Cool, do you mind if a loser boy like myself hangs out with you for a while.

VIRGINIA
You might want to be careful though.

JACK
And why is that?

VIRGINIA
Well my mother believes you have a crush on me.

JACK
Well, what if I do? Which I don't, but what if I do?

VIRGINIA
Then don't tell her about it.

JACK
(as the world goes into a pause)
I am such a smooth liar, but why couldn't I have been honest then. I don't know. And the sad fact is that I have had many many conversation like that since then.

Fade to: COFFEE SHOPISH PLACE

The guys are putting up the monopoly board.

JACK
1.I like the fact that we like some the same things, and then yet again we are worlds apart in interest. Example being she loves manga and I love comics. Fundamentally the same thing but yet in the same way they are totally different from one another. That I think that is the best comparison of our friendship. Kindred, but yet the exact opposite. To tell you the truth I don't know what that really means but something I am pretty sure of it. Which then yet again I am sure that I am just full of shit.

DAVE
Hey Jack I won the board game.

JACK
That's great man, but I am in the middle of something.

RALPH
Get off your fucking self, it'll never work out, you know this as well as I do. You set up this whole little obsession so it could fail and you would be nursing a broken heart. You are so full of fucking shit. Just stop while you are ahead.

JACK
Can I at least do a Springer and plug a final thought guys?

RALPH
No, I don't want to hear it, whine whine whine, you should have asked the girl out months ago, but no you are going to whine about being away from her, and if you was with her you wouldn't ask out on a date anyway because you are afraid.

JACK
Afraid of what?

RALPH
Now that is for you to figure out you dumb ass.

DAVE puts and the other guy puts the board game away and RALPH walks out.

JACK
I think I'll let this thing go. These emotions, I don't understand them to even to tell you what I exactly feel. In the very end Virginia doesn't need me, I am just too insane to be in any form of relationship with this girl.

RALPH
(From outside)
I heard that and I am telling you to shut the fuck up.

GUY TO RIGHT
Hold on, is it Jack?

JACK
Yes

GUY TO THE RIGHT
And that girl you are supposedly crazy about is named Virginia.

JACK
Yeah

GUY TO THE RIGHT
Well I was just thinking that it would probably be a good idea if you were honest and tell her the truth. I mean really man, why torture yourself over nothing that couldn't be resolved with a simple conversation?

JACK
That would be to complicated

GUY TO THE RIGHT
So are you ever going to talk to her about the way you feel?

JACK
Probably not.

GUY TO THE RIGHT
Then why tear yourself up so much over a hopeless crush?

JACK
But this is a life of a Hopeless Romantic.

GUY TO THE RIGHT
Right, hopeless romantic, its more like hopeless psychotic, I mean really, have you ever consider how she might feel about this whole situation.

JACK
(staring in the camera, biting his lip first and then saying)
Goodnight

Cut to Black

THE END